The Warmest Days of an Endless Summer
by decoysharktopus
Summary: Shinji's life has become a tiring cycle of killing angels, doing housework, going to school, and listening to his SDAT. Realizing that he has the means to change this after a chat with Misato, Shinji finds himself aglow with a new purpose, one whose consequences neither he, his roommates, nor NERV itself find themselves quite prepared for. Just a bit of fluff, really.
1. New Purpose

**The Warmest Days of an Endless Summer**

_A Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfiction by Decoysharktopus_

**Chapter 1**

Misato stared across the room at her young charge as he sat motionless listening to his ancient SDAT player, much the same as ever. For as long as he had lived with her his daily routine, left undisturbed, consisted of housework, homework, the SDAT, and nothing more.

She had not noticed this consciously, however, until a recent lull in Angel attacks and thus in work allowed her the luxury of paying close attention to his everyday life for the first time since he had come to live with her, a fact that caused her some embarrassment. She was his guardian, at least on paper, even if she _also_ happened to be the one to send him into what could generously be called mortal peril every other day. His mental well being was important both to her personally and to her continued employment. And so she frowned.

"Shinji?" she asked.

"Huh?" Shinji jerked forward slightly as he pulled his headphones out of his ears. "What is it, Misato?"

"Shinji, is this really how you want to spend your time here?"

"Um, what do you mean, Misato?" he asked, looking up at her with a furrowed brow.

"I mean, aren't you bored? Don't you have, y'know, hobbies you'd rather be doing?"

"Well I guess I play the cello sometimes and, uh…I, I dunno."

Misato's frown deepened as she sighed. "Most fourteen year olds go to the movies, or take their parents' cars for joyrides, or take pretty girls on dates, or…" she trailed off, searching fruitlessly for another example and grinned as she noticed Shinji turning beet red at her last suggestion. "or whatever. Look, I'm not trying to tell you you _have_ to do these things, just that you can if you want to. Except the joyride thing. Don't do that." She paused. "You have to be on call for Angel attacks, of course, but that doesn't limit you as much as you might think. Especially not with that ludicrous salary NERV pays you kids."

This brought a questioning look to Shinji's face. "Sal-"

"Ah, forget it, Misato. Baka Shinji here is hopeless." Both Misato and Shinji jumped as their eavesdropping roommate, leaning on the kitchen table, interrupted. "He's way too boring to go out and do anything fun by himself. Always needs someone to drag him along by the hand."

"I take it you're volunteering for duty, then?" Misato replied with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "I can make it an official order if you want."

"_What_? No way, I'll mutiny. I have the firepower, you know! Who's gonna stop me? Him? _Wondergirl_? Bah! Fat chance!" And with that Asuka retreated to her room in a huff, the sound of Misato's chuckling close behind her as she rose from her seat to grab a beer from the fridge.

Shinji, however, hadn't been paying much attention to the exchange between his guardian and his fellow pilot; one word had stubbornly forced its way in his mind and refused to budge. "Salary?" he muttered to himself, scarcely believing he hadn't realized until now that he was being paid. "What sort of thing could I buy with the money I've been making? What sort of thing _should_ I buy?" he wondered aloud before glancing at Pen Pen, who had witnessed the entire exchange and looked extremely curious. That was when the idea struck him.

* * *

A week had passed since that day, and Misato had noticed more than a few obvious changes in Shinji's demeanor. He smiled more than she had ever come to expect from him and bounced about with a boundless, almost nervous energy and excitement that made Misato uneasy until she had Ritsuko run a blood test on the pilots and ruled out the possible effects of drugs and alcohol. Her uneasiness had then shifted to bemusement and remained firmly stuck there ever since.

Misato could not be certain it was her little talk with Shinji that had caused this, but the change in his attitude had certainly made her feel that maybe, just maybe, she had gotten through to him at least a little, and she allowed herself a bit of pride at the thought. Regardless of the reasons for it, though, she was happy to see him leave the apartment without anyone else's urging for once, and on a regular basis, too.

She hadn't made him tell her what he was doing; his Section 2 detail would make sure that he stayed safe and she had long since decided that the children under her care deserved their privacy unless the truth of their actions was sufficiently funny.

That did not mean, however, that she was not curious. She poked and prodded at him at all hours of the day, sometimes subtly, sometimes with the bluntness of a sledgehammer. She had asked about school. She had asked about girls. She had asked about his friends, Suzuhara and Aida. She asked about girls. She had asked about sports. She had asked about girls; he was a fourteen year old boy, after all. No matter the question, Shinji had just responded with frustratingly evasive answers and excuses.

If his behavior was exasperating Misato, and it was, then it was driving Asuka, who had also noticed the change in Shinji, insane outright, which gave Misato no end of admittedly slightly mean spirited pleasure. Asuka had wasted no time in trying to wrestle the truth out of him, but, though terrified as he clearly was of the redhead's ceaseless and increasingly furious questionings, Shinji still managed to stay uncharacteristically resolute in his silence. Whatever it was, Shinji had clearly made up his mind about it and wouldn't tell anyone until he was ready.

And as much as Asuka may have hated it, Misato had a hunch that Shinji's newfound conviction, whatever it was, would help boost his synch ratios the next time Ritsuko decided to test them. This, she reflected, would of course just piss off Asuka even more. She smiled. The coming week would be entertaining, if nothing else. She could feel it.

* * *

"That was a good one, I know it already," Asuka crowed as her test plug opened with a familiar hiss and the LCL leaked out. She practically leaped from her plug's command chair out onto the platform, beaming up at her superiors. "Hey, Dr. Akagi, how much did I widen my lead by this time? It won't be long before you can send these kids home," she jerked a thumb toward Shinji and Rei, who were still climbing out of their plugs, "and leave the Angel killing to a professional." The thumb jerked again, this time pointing directly at the Second Child's chest.

Ritsuko looked down at the readings on her monitor in some surprise then turned to face the Major standing over her shoulder. "Well, well, it seems you were on to something after all, Misato," she said before turning back to the pilots and activating the intercom. "Good work, Asuka. We've recorded a synch ratio increase of four points for you on this test." She paused to allow the redhead's cheer to ring through the test chamber.

"But," she continued, letting the smirk she had been suppressing spread across her face, "I'm afraid your lead over your fellow pilots has actually diminished by seven points since the last test."

Asuka's reply was as quick as it was sharp. "It _what?_" she cried in a voice that was at some indeterminate point between shock and rage.

"Shinji's ratio increased by eleven points today," Misato chimed in cheerily. "Isn't that great?" she asked, goading the Second Child into another outburst.

"What, but, I..._how?_" Asuka spluttered. "It's not like he's done any extra training the rest of us haven't! He just gets in the Eva and his score rises by eleven? That's...that's not...Ach! Scheiße!" She continued spouting German expletives for a few seconds before growling, "I'll be in the gym if anyone needs me."

Misato shook her head, laughing silently and pitying whatever poor soul would have the misfortune of being Asuka's sparring partner that afternoon. "Good job today, Shinji," she called to the Third Child, who was still standing beside his test plug and smiling sheepishly, clearly embarrassed.

"You can go ahead and head home early, you've earned it." Misato noted that this caused him to brighten considerably. "I've got paperwork to do, so I'll see you in a few hours. I think it'll take Asuka a while to cool down, too, so enjoy your time alone."

Shinji nodded and practically skipped out of the test chamber. Once again Misato felt her insistent curiosity groan inside of her like an empty stomach. She sighed. Four hours of filling out forms in triplicate would dull that ache, she already knew. "Coffee?" she asked Ritsuko, delaying the inevitable.

* * *

Misato came home several hours later, tired but happy to finally be caught up with her work for the week. "I'm home," she called, receiving no answer. "Shinji?" she asked, but was again met with silence. Shrugging, she removed her shoes and moved into the kitchen, where she saw a note left on the counter in Shinji's handwriting.

_Misato/Asuka,_

_Went out on a walk. Will be back soon. I cooked dinner, it's in the fridge._

_-Shinji_

She smiled as she took the food he had cooked and put it in the microwave. Even on his time off the boy was always thinking about his responsibilities to others. As she sat down to eat she began to think she should reward him in some way for his conscientiousness, not to mention for the impressive synch scores he had put up today. By the time she finished her meal and a nice cold beer she had decided to take over the duties Shinji normally took care of around the apartment, at least for that night.

That in mind, she decided to start with doing the dishes, which seemed to her the most convenient task for someone who had just finished dinner. Her brow knit in slight confusion, however, when she noticed there were already three used bowls in the sink from that night. One for Shinji and one for Pen Pen, yes, but Asuka hadn't come home yet, leaving the third bowl a mystery. She decided after a moment's contemplation that Suzuhara or Aida must have stopped by earlier for whatever reason. Maybe Shinji was with one of them now.

Once she had finished washing the dishes as best she could Misato decided to start hers and Shinji's laundry. Asuka, she decided, would not want her barging into her room without permission, so her clothes would have to wait, though she noticed that Asuka's door was slightly ajar. _That's unlike her_, she thought absently as she closed it for her, knowing she would prefer it that way.

As she entered Shinji's room to collect his laundry she saw a brush sitting on his desk. _That's strange, _she thought. _Maybe it's one of Asuka's?_ She couldn't fathom, however, how one of Asuka's brushes might have ended up in Shinji's room; certainly Shinji was both too timid and too respectful to just take one even if he had some use for it. Further, she doubted Asuka would have let him use one even if he had worked up the courage to ask. She pursed her lips for a moment before giving up on the mystery for now and moving the brush to the bathroom where Asuka could find it.

Returning to Shinji's room, she retrieved the hamper that held his laundry and brought it with her to the washing machine. As she began feeding his clothes to the machine she couldn't help noticing that many of them had several dark hairs clinging to them. Her first instinct was to worry that his hair had been falling out due to Eva related stress. It wasn't fair for a boy to go bald before his sixteenth birthday.

_But_ _why now? _her mind countered. _If it was stress that caused it then you would have noticed this a long time ago. He's been happier these past two weeks any other time since he began piloting Unit 01._ And then Misato froze. _Happy...A brush in his room...someone else eating here...hairs on his clothes...spending time out of the apartment..._

Misato felt perhaps the slowest, slyest grin of her life creep onto her face as she put the pieces together and giggled madly. She could tease Shinji about this for the rest of his life, and she had a feeling Asuka wouldn't be pleased either.

She didn't have to wait too long for Asuka to return home. "Feeling better?" she asked as Asuka entered the apartment without a word.

"About what?" the redhead asked, earning her a look from Misato telling her she wasn't fooling anyone. Asuka scowled. "Please," she said haughtily. "As if a little fluke like that could get under my skin. Next week _his_ scores will fall back to normal and _mine_ will continue to rise like always."

"Mmm," Misato allowed congenially, before moving on to the next button to be pressed. "Say, Shinji's been in pretty good spirits lately." She winked. "You don't suppose he has a girlfriend or something, do you?"

Asuka stiffened, then forced out a laugh. "Him? A girlfriend? Ha! Good one, Misato. That dweeb could never find someone dumb enough to go out with _him_!" She laughed again for what seemed to both of them to be a few more seconds than was necessary. "Anyway, why should _I _care?" she added, feeling her voice catching in her throat for the briefest of moments.

Misato shrugged, and, feeling a little guilty, was about to reach for some encouraging words that wouldn't get her head bitten off when they both heard the sound of footsteps approaching the front door. Asuka's eyes widened and she darted into her room before Shinji could enter, leaving only Misato to see as the door opened to reveal Shinji standing there next to...a puppy?

Misato blinked for a moment as Shinji stood there, grinning brightly. The moment was soon pierced by an ear splitting shriek from Asuka's room. "Wer. Zum _TEUFEL_. **_SCHEIẞE AUF MEINEM BETT_**?!" There was a pause, then, "**_SHIIIIIIIIINJIIIIIIIIIII_**!"

While Misato knew enough German to understand Asuka's distress, Shinji had no idea what had just happened, but even so he could tell just from her tone that his life expectancy could now be measured in mere minutes, if not seconds. He gulped as his eyes pleaded with Misato to save him, but her empty gaze went right through him as she puzzled through this new information. _A more positive attitude...hair on his clothes...a brush in his room...an extra serving of dinner...going out on a walk…a soiled bed...and this canine beside Shinji._

Suddenly Misato began to howl with laughter, unsure if she would ever stop, though she supposed she should get a hold of herself before Asuka made it out of her room and crippled one third of NERV's effective piloting force.

* * *

**_Author's notes_**_: Just a silly bit of fluff that struck me a few days ago and wouldn't leave til I'd started. I'm not sure how long I can generate chapters based on this premise, but at least I've got some ideas and an end in mind, so there's that. Be sure to let me know if you enjoyed it, or, hell, even if you didn't. Especially if you didn't. I crave feedback, I'm insecure like that. _

_Be advised, I don't speak German and make all too frequent use of google translate, so feel free to feel smug if this is erroneous, but Asuka's line at the end is supposed to be "Who the Devil/Hell shit on my bed?"_

_Hopefully by the end you understand the terrible bit of wordplay that I used to give this fic its title. I couldn't very well call it the Dog Days of an Endless Summer or the cat (well, dog) would be out of the bag. And anyone who knows why Shinji's score went up exactly 11 points gets a free internet point. Til next time._


	2. Taming the Beast

**Chapter 2**

The day after his fateful talk with Misato had passed slowly for Shinji. A simple breakfast of eggs and toast took what felt like hours to prepare. The walk to school, always rather long even under normal circumstances, seemed a marathon and a half. At school, Class 2-A's teacher's startlingly frank lecture on the difficulties of finding decent pornography in the post-Second Impact world - a topic on which Kensuke took copious notes - may as well have taken decades, though that may have had more to do with the horrifying subject matter.

And then, finally, mercifully, the last bell rang and Shinji was free for the afternoon, free to put the idea he had kicking around in his head into action. Within seconds he found himself outside of school grounds and heading briskly towards one of Tokyo-3's ritziest districts, being sure to lose his Section 2 tail on the way. With each step towards this section of town the streets got cleaner and cleaner and the air smelled fresher and more wholesome.

He passed by boutique after boutique, each pricier than the last, paying none of them any mind until at length he stood before his destination: Koromaru's Pet Emporium.

As Shinji had begrudgingly learned from 2-A's teacher, in the years immediately following Second Impact humanity was too concerned with its own survival to worry about much else. The vast majority of the world's domesticated animals, suddenly left with no one to care for them, either turned feral or simply died. So it was that, by 2015, pets had become so scarce that owning one was considered a luxury that few people could afford. Pet shops now catered exclusively to wealthy, important people, like politicians, generals, and respected scientists.

_Or Eva pilots, _thought Shinji_. _He allowed himself a smile before he took a deep breath and opened the door, the soft tinkling of a bell announcing his entry. Within stood row upon row of carefully polished cages, each holding a different sort of animal. None of them, Shinji noticed, held dogs. He turned to the counter to see the shop's attendant looking at him strangely. "Excuse me," he said after an uncomfortable moment had passed.

"What is it...sir?" the attendant, a tired looking man in his thirties whose nametag said he was called Hiro, asked after another moment, saying the last word with an undisguised frown. He had seen snot nosed brats come in before far too many times; invariably, the moment they saw a price tag they scurried out like rats. That's if the shop was lucky. A few years back one persistent young man had taken to coming in every day, ostensibly just to look at the birds. Within two weeks he had managed to surreptitiously teach all of the parrots in the store several unspeakable phrases, making them unsellable in the process. Idle browsing was, of course, no longer tolerated at Koromaru's.

"Yes, um," said Shinji, suddenly nervous at the unprovoked hostility in the man's manner, "I was, uh, was wondering where you keep the dogs."

"The dogs," Hiro repeated flatly before continuing in a bored tone. "That, I think, would be out of your price range. Might you be interested in a cricket? Some brine shrimp, perhaps? We normally only sell them as animal food, but for the, ah, _modest _budget of a schoolboy I'm afraid that's all we carry."

"N-no, I can afford a dog!" The man smirked and one of his eyebrows shot up into the lower atmosphere. "Really!" said Shinji. "Look!" He pulled out his NERV ID and held it up. "You can check my account balance by swiping it on your register." That was what Misato had told him at least. The attendant did so, eyes widening mid-roll as he swallowed audibly.

"Ah...I'm very sorry, sir, right this way." Hiro gestured towards a door in the corner. "We keep the dogs in a back room. Some of our more, ah, _delicate_ customers are disturbed by their barking." Together they walked to a slightly smaller room, filled, true to Hiro's word, with dog cages. The barking that accompanied their entrance _was _a bit loud, Shinji had to admit.

"Now," said Hiro as he began to walk along the rows of cages, "We have purebreds of all the most popular breeds in Japan with us right now as you can see, but we are able to import most any type by request. For a fee, of course. We also carry a number of mutts salvaged from the streets of Tokyo-3, but I'm sure a customer of your means won't be…" He trailed off, realizing the boy was not walking with him but had stopped several yards away.

Shinji's gaze was fixed upon a puppy who lay alone in the corner of one of the nearer cages. It had a solid dark brown coat all over except for a large white splotch on its chest and its legs seemed just a little too stubby for its body. When it sensed him staring it raised its head, looking at him for a moment before lowering it again and turning forlornly back to the bars of its cage. "What kind is that one?" asked Shinji, pointing. The dog, noticing the attention, perked up its floppy ears as it picked itself off the ground and walked hesitantly towards the boy.

"Hm? Oh, him? He's just one of the mutts animal control sends out way. Mostly Labrador, God only knows what else. Hardly suitable for a customer such as yourself." The dog growled softly at the insult, drawing surprised looks from the two humans. Hiro shook his head, clearing a few ridiculous notions from his mind. It was just hungry, of course. "Even our, ah, _less discerning_ customers have all been drawn to the others in his litter, he is the runt after all."

"If you have his whole litter," Shinji said slowly after a moment of thought, "then where's his mother? He's all alone."

Hiro shrugged. "We euthanized her. We don't have the resources to keep older dogs, they're unprofitable merchandise." At this the puppy growled again, louder this time, and began snapping at the cage's bars. "Ah, see? It's violent. You don't want this one." Shinji felt his hand clench several times.

"I want him," said Shinji simply.

"But-"

"I. Want. Him." Shinji's eyes flashed with something the older man couldn't read.

Hiro knew better than to argue with those that carried NERV IDs. The terrifying blonde lady with a fixation on cats who shopped at Koromaru's once in a blue moon had taught him _that _lesson well enough. "Fine," he said, sighing. "Though I should tell you that he's not even housebroken."

Shinji was actually unsure of what the word "housebroken" meant, but with a feeling of stubbornness having come over him he was in no mood to admit that to the callous and arrogant shopkeep. Besides, Asuka had used it many times to insult him, always seeming to mean that he was too submissive and pliable, so he reasoned the fact that the pup was not housebroken like Shinji could only please her. "Good. My roommate will prefer him that way."

Hiro's eyes narrowed as he tried his very hardest not to let his mind think of whatever undoubtedly sick reasons the boy's roommate could have for that. _Damn NERV freaks,_ he thought. "I, well, I...fine, whatever, have it your way," he said, sighing again.

"Good," said Shinji again, relaxing slightly as he already began to envision taking his new puppy home with him.

"We will, of course, have to hold on to him for one to two weeks as we get the ownership transfer details worked out - authorization, microchip implant, immunizations, et cetera, standard procedure, really."

"Oh. Well...can I still come spend time with him here?"

"If you want."

Shinji grinned then, larger than any he could remember since the day his father...well, larger than any in a long time. "Perfect." The next several minutes were spent going over all the basic information the shop needed to properly transfer ownership of the puppy to him. With that accomplished Shinji started towards the door, ready to head home for the night. He put his SDAT's headphones in his ears and let the sounds of "Air" wash over him.

"Sir!" called Hiro's voice from behind him, stopping him. "One more thing. What did you want to name it?"

It came as a bit of a shock to Shinji to realize that he had not considered this yet. Shinji had been put on the spot. Shinji was not good on the spot. "Um," he said, stammering incoherently for several seconds before the music in his ears brought a bit of stability back to his mind. His eyes lit up. "Johann," he said, smiling. "His name is Johann."

NERV's pilots were bound by a strict and byzantine set of rules and regulations. As far as Shinji was aware, owning a dog did not violate any of them, but he knew his father and knew that if he wanted an excuse to prevent such a thing he would find one. But only if he found out about it. Thus it was that Shinji had decided to keep Johann a secret until the purchase was finalized; he reasoned that it would be more difficult to find a pretext to take his dog away from him than to prevent him from having one in the first place.

He could not help but feel guilty, however, over the fact that he would not be telling Misato until the day he brought Johann home, but he knew she would understand. She had to. She understood better than anyone how heartless his father could be. Besides, it would hardly be fair for her to keep a pet and to forbid Shinji from doing the same. Shinji knew these were just excuses but they still comforted him.

* * *

"...and for this reason we are no longer supplying chocolate pudding in the mess hall. Lieutenant Aoba can protest all he wants, but this decision is final, barring your objection." Fuyutsuki's tone implied that he expected no such thing from the Commander. "Last on today's report, there was a bit of a strange incident involving your son this afternoon," said the professor with a slight smile on his lips.

"The Third Child? What of him?"

"It seems he thinks that he can evade his Section 2 detail." The old man chuckled. "He's wrong, of course, but the notion is amusing. Today he went out in what he thought was secret to buy a puppy, of all things. Shall we allow this?"

Gendo Ikari sat silently for an uncomfortably long time. It was, in fact, an amount of time that had been carefully calculated to make his listener nervous. On anyone else it would have worked like a charm, but Fuyutsuki, who was well aware of his boss' use of this tactic, merely took a deep breath. "Well?" he prompted.

"It does not affect the Scenario. We will do nothing."

* * *

Over the next two weeks Shinji spent all his free time at Koromaru's, arriving immediately after school ended and coming home to the apartment around dusk each night. He quickly became acquainted with the basics of feeding, grooming, walking, training, and all other dog-related responsibilities under the disinterested tutelage of Hiro the shop clerk.

Misato and Asuka were going crazy trying to figure out what he was doing, and though it couldn't be helped, Shinji still regretted that he had to hide it. He regretted not being able to tell Misato, at least. A rather large part of him relished the chance to make Asuka as confused as she had always made him feel on a daily basis, at least for a little while.

The very first time Hiro had opened Johann's cage to allow Shinji inside, the day after Shinji's first visit to Koromaru's, the dog had shied away from him into the back of his cage, bristling. As Shinji moved towards him and slowly reached a hand towards his head Johann had snapped at him, causing a small cut with his tiny teeth. Shinji pulled back immediately and sat down slumped against one of the cage's walls, rubbing his hand and wondering if this had indeed been a good idea.

And then all of a sudden he felt a soft, wet, tickling sensation where he had been cut. There was Johann, tail tucked firmly between his legs, licking the wound he had caused and whining softly. Shinji's heart turned to LCL and he couldn't believe he had doubted himself just moments ago. He reached over to pat the dog's head, but a sudden tensing in the pup's body told him this still wasn't a good idea. He sighed and allowed the licking to continue until Johann got tired and fell asleep a few feet from where Shinji sat.

The next day, Shinji brought an extra serving of meat with him to school in his lunch, and though Touji had grunted resentfully when he saw that he had a spare slab of beef that he wasn't willing to share, no one suspected it was anything more than leftovers. No one, that is, but Johann, who had eagerly snapped it up the moment Shinji brought it out, devouring it in seconds. Evidently it was preferable to whatever sort of kibbles they had been feeding him. Johann didn't lash out when Shinji moved to pet him that day, though he still stiffened under Shinji's hand. When he laid down for a nap it was even farther from Shinji than he had been the previous day.

It took a few more days of bringing food to the pup before Johann felt comfortable with Shinji's attempts at petting him, even taking some noticeable amount of pleasure out of them. Slowly but surely he took his naps closer and closer to wherever Shinji happened to be sitting, which the boy did not fail to notice.

Then, over the course of the next week, Johann became more and more playful and the two began games of fetch and tug of war with regularity, which pleased Hiro greatly, as it meant Shinji would spend more on the overpriced dog toys Koromaru's stocked. The dog, however, seemed to think Shinji's SDAT was the best toy of all and gnawed on it any chance he got, forcing Shinji to stow it away carefully in his pockets any time he visited.

Gradually, all the discomfort between Shinji and Johann evaporated. On the evening before Shinji's next synch test, the day he would finally take Johann home, when the puppy fell asleep he had been nuzzled right up against Shinji's leg, and the boy had been loathe to move. It was only Hiro called out that he was closing the store for the night that he could finally bring himself to leave.

* * *

All the events of the past two weeks flashed before Shinji's eyes, along with the rest of his short life, as he found himself face to face with a very real, very certain, and very _red_ death.

"I will ask you one time, Third Child. Why. Is. There. Shit. On. My. Bed."

"I-I-I...what?" he asked, as puzzled as he was terrified.

Asuka's eyes darted down for the first time to the dog on the end of the leash Shinji held, then back up to Shinji, upon which they narrowed to slits as realization dawned. Johann, for his part, was trying to make himself as small as possible. "You bought a dog. And you didn't think to buy one that was _housebroken_?"

"B-b-but you always say I'm housebroken like it's a bad thing! I wasn't sure what it meant and when the man at the store said he wasn't housebroken I thought-"

"HOW STUPID ARE YOU?!" Asuka advanced a step and raised a fist in the air, and Shinji closed his eyes and winced as he anticipated the blow. Just as Asuka was about to throw the first of many, many punches a low growl filled the air. She looked down to see the tiny little puppy Shinji had bought himself had placed itself between the two in a protective stance. It was almost funny, Asuka reflected later, that the one thing she could think of that was weaker than Shinji would be standing up to protect him.

"Now, now, kids," came Misato's voice from behind her, straining with the effort of not laughing, "assault and murder are serious crimes; if you don't stop this the punishment could be lockdown and solitary confinement."

"What do I care? It's not like I - STOP LAUGHING, DAMMIT!" Misato had not succeeded in her efforts. "Not like I need other people anyway."

"When I said lockdown and solitary confinement, I meant for Unit 02." This had the intended effect. Asuka lowered her fist with glacial slowness as she glared at everyone and everything in the room.

"Fine," spat the redhead at last. "I'm going out." And with that she slammed the still open front door, leaving Misato and Shinji in an awkward silence behind her.

Feeling hopelessly lost, Shinji decided at length that one of them had to say something, and his guardian didn't seem eager to start. "Misato, I-"

"Stop." The voice that interrupted him was not loud, but it was as firm as steel. Shinji looked down at his feet as Misato continued. "Okay, I know I was laughing a second ago and this is going to cause mixed signals, and I'm sorry for that, but _what the hell, Shinji?_ You're going to explain this to me. _Now_."

"I-I-I'm sorry," said Shinji, deflating like a balloon. "It's what I wanted to use my salary for and I thought-" He gulped. "I thought if I told anybody Father would have stopped it and I'd be back to having nothing. Or worse, he'd take something away from me just for daring to hope."

Misato was about to reply that that sounded completely ridiculous when she realized that it really didn't. She was supposed to report such things to the Commander, and the Commander _was _an arbitrary bastard. Rei's...unique...demeanor was direct evidence of his failings as a parental figure. "Look," she said at last. "I'm not going to make you give up…" She trailed off, gesturing at the puppy, which at the moment looked as thoroughly miserable as Shinji.

"Johann. His name's Johann."

"I'm not going to make you give up Johann. And even if I wouldn't put it past him, I don't think your father will either. I don't care how sneaky you were, I'd bet all the beer in the fridge that he already knows about it."

"R-really?" For the first time in the conversation Shinji allowed himself to think things might turn out alright.

"Really." Misato paused. "But don't think for a second you're not still getting punished for this."

"Right…"

They fell silent again for a few minutes, each with their own thoughts. "You know," Misato said at last, "you really do have to get him housebroken. Soon."

"Um...Misato?" Shinji asked hesitantly. "What...what exactly does housebroken mean?" It was at that moment that Pen Pen waddled into the bathroom, clutching a newspaper in one of his strange little flippers.

"That," said Misato, pointing at the scene. It was only then that the full extent of Asuka's anger became clear to Shinji. He'd only let Johann out of his sight for a few minutes that whole day, but during that time…

"I'm going to be doing every single chore around here for a long, long time, aren't I?"

"Ten years. If you're lucky."

Shinji sighed.

* * *

**A/N** - _Hope you enjoyed the second chapter of this bit of inanity. I don't really have much to say so I'll just go ahead and repeat my request from chapter one that you tell me what you thought of it, and if for whatever reason you've got a question or something feel free to pm me._


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